So. I just had my first true experience with fire. Since that statement will make little sense to those of you out in the blogosphere, I shall elaborate first with some backstory.
I am not a fiery person. At all. In fact, I was first initially Air...and for a good deal of my life as well. Up until about the age of 17 or 18 in fact. I was at Deer Camp (yes, I am a hunter...bet you didn't know huh?) and falling asleep in my bunk bed while big fat snowflakes drifted lazily outside the windows. I was awoken from my half-sleep by a big old voice saying "You Are Water." Well, I wasn't water. I was Air, and I was damned happy to be Air too. So I argued with the voice, explaining that I had absolutely no interest in becoming Water and would stay my happy little Air self, thank you very much.
Well, I have been Water ever since. I didn't do anything, it just happened. Except back in around June I suddenly *poofed* back into Air. I was rather startled, and please as well because I really like Air. I really like Water now too, but I hadn't been Air in a while and it was very refreshing. So I went outside to where a wind had suddenly picked up and heard the Voice again, "You Are Fire." Well, wtf Voice? You already made me into Water, and I really like Water. I really like Air too. But I haven't been Water nearly as long as I've been Air and you're changing me again? Nothing but a repetition of the same phrase, just like it was before.
Now, I'm really not a Fire person. I don't like Fire, and I especially don't like Anger...which to me is the same thing. Bad past experiences...let's just say I flinch when someone gets angry. So, I control my anger in a vice-like grip. I'm so good at it that unless the volcano is threatening to erupt due to seismic activity, I can't even feel that the Fire is there.
Then tonight. I've mentioned I'm exhausted and unbalanced from the new job right? Well, that makes the vice-like grip weaken. I ended up getting so upset that I turned into Raging Chaos Of Fire. Emphasis on the chaos part. One second I'm sobbing hysterically and the next I have to restrain myself from leaving great bloody clawmarks on my boyfriend. Eventually it got to the point where he just had to suck most of the Fire from me before I made myself crazy. Let me tell you, I dropped like a bunch of rocks. I was all Fire. It's banked, but I can still feel it there under the skin...flickering. Ugh, this is going to be VERY interesting, isn't it?
Exploring the labyrinthine corridors of existence. Oh, and crafting too.
The mp3 playback on my media center computer glitched and stuttered as I decided to follow your blog. It happens.
ReplyDeleteHave you try running? Not from the fire, for it will only burn you faster. I mean really running as fast as you can? Or maybe swimming? In truth any exercise does it for me. I'm Fire, hot, passionate and dangerous if unattended, so when I'm angry out of my mind I run until I burn all the fire. Or I have sex, the second works best, but if the angry fire is unstable because of the person your significant other, then run. It's great for the spirit and the legs :)
ReplyDeleteI'm using a java script called asciimathml.js to render latex expressions into equations. It requires design science mathplayer addin for Microsoft Internet Explorer. Otherwise Firefox will work on it's own but may require additional fonts to display correctly. Cheers.
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