So. I just had my first true experience with fire. Since that statement will make little sense to those of you out in the blogosphere, I shall elaborate first with some backstory.
I am not a fiery person. At all. In fact, I was first initially Air...and for a good deal of my life as well. Up until about the age of 17 or 18 in fact. I was at Deer Camp (yes, I am a hunter...bet you didn't know huh?) and falling asleep in my bunk bed while big fat snowflakes drifted lazily outside the windows. I was awoken from my half-sleep by a big old voice saying "You Are Water." Well, I wasn't water. I was Air, and I was damned happy to be Air too. So I argued with the voice, explaining that I had absolutely no interest in becoming Water and would stay my happy little Air self, thank you very much.
Well, I have been Water ever since. I didn't do anything, it just happened. Except back in around June I suddenly *poofed* back into Air. I was rather startled, and please as well because I really like Air. I really like Water now too, but I hadn't been Air in a while and it was very refreshing. So I went outside to where a wind had suddenly picked up and heard the Voice again, "You Are Fire." Well, wtf Voice? You already made me into Water, and I really like Water. I really like Air too. But I haven't been Water nearly as long as I've been Air and you're changing me again? Nothing but a repetition of the same phrase, just like it was before.
Now, I'm really not a Fire person. I don't like Fire, and I especially don't like Anger...which to me is the same thing. Bad past experiences...let's just say I flinch when someone gets angry. So, I control my anger in a vice-like grip. I'm so good at it that unless the volcano is threatening to erupt due to seismic activity, I can't even feel that the Fire is there.
Then tonight. I've mentioned I'm exhausted and unbalanced from the new job right? Well, that makes the vice-like grip weaken. I ended up getting so upset that I turned into Raging Chaos Of Fire. Emphasis on the chaos part. One second I'm sobbing hysterically and the next I have to restrain myself from leaving great bloody clawmarks on my boyfriend. Eventually it got to the point where he just had to suck most of the Fire from me before I made myself crazy. Let me tell you, I dropped like a bunch of rocks. I was all Fire. It's banked, but I can still feel it there under the skin...flickering. Ugh, this is going to be VERY interesting, isn't it?